I had made the decision to compete in November several months ago. One of the main reasons that I decided to compete at that time was to help me keep moving forward with my body transformation goal. I particularly had my sights set on competing in November and December to keep me focused on meeting my year goal of not yoyo dieting during the holiday season. My typical yearly habit is to gain weight from October through December....during the holidays. My hope was that the competitions would help me stay on track through the holidays to prevent me from going into 2012 heavy again.
This silver tree is absolutely stunning. (located a few blocks from my house)
As I have continued to train and learn these past several months that simple short term goal of competing to stop the yoyo dieting changed. I no longer feel that I need a competition to prevent me from yoyo dieting this year. I have discovered other methods to prevent me from gaining weight such as the UD2 cycle diet which has worked for me in this area.
Then my reason for competing in November totally changed. My new reason for competing changed to this....well since I blabbed to everybody and their mama that I am going to compete then I better compete because I said I would. And I had a bunch of people supporting my decision to compete. Of course I had many people who felt I would do very well in a local show and I had several other competitors tell me to forget the local shows and go ahead and compete in a national qualifying show. Every body was telling me do it and they all had faith that I would do well. So my competing goal went from to prevent me from yoyo dieting to competing because I told everybody I will compete....in essence feeding my ego.
Now, neither of those reasons were good reasons to compete and I knew that deep inside, but my ego (I call her devil Annette) is pretty big at times and sometimes devil Annette fights with my inner good spirit (I call her angel Annette) and sometimes devil Annette wins and sometimes angel Annette wins. They battle everyday lol...in many decisions that I make. Many times when I listen to devil Annette I feel good for the short term, but the long term effects of listening to devil Annette is ALWAYS bad. When I listen to angel Annette, sometimes I am not happy with the short term feelings but in the end it is always GOOD!!
So, if you have read my blogs before, you have read about devil Annette and Angel Annette.....the battle goes on.
In the mean time, I had been looking for an online coach for the final 10-12 weeks of my contest prep. I did all the forms for Erik, but although his rates fit my budget his waiting list is 3-4 months long! I had looked at Scott Abel's rates and to be honest I did not want to pay what he was asking. But I have since changed my mind.
Me and a dear friend
I asked Scott if he felt that I was ready to compete and he said no. That is all that I needed to hear....an expert to tell me I am not ready. I could use Scott as my excuse to tell all that I was not ready!! Yeah baby, blame it on my soon to be coach....right? Lol.
So truth be told, I don't really care to compete. What I really cared about was following through with a commitment that I boasted about.
My goal now is to continue to transform my body and gain muscle. I may or may not compete in the future.....but for now my goal is as stated.
I feel light as a feather now :)
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