Tuesday, September 27, 2011

The other side of the mirror.....a good book

I woke this morning and was down a pound on the scale. That does not mean a thing, but I do like to weigh myself every morning. It keeps me in check. Considering I just started my period (I know...too much information) and that I had a good amount of carbs yesterday a decrease on the scale is a blessing at least to my mental haha. I did not get to train yesterday either so I will do my Day 1 training today. I have 5 days to get get through the workouts and 2 days off...so yesterday will be one of my days off.

I am back to the grueling leg workout that took me 1.5 hours to do last week. My goal this week is to get the same workout done in less time. That mean less rest periods between sets. Last time I did this workout I was sucking wind so bad that I had to rest a bit more between sets. But I am sure that my muscles and heart remembered that workout and know what to expect...so this week it should be better I hope.

I feel good today. This diet is squeaky clean....absolutely nothing processed. No protein shakes or supplements either. Wow....a big change for me. I loved my protein shakes mainly because it is quick and easy. I have to do a little more prep on this diet. I miss my protein shakes.

I am currently reading the book "The Other Side Of The Mirror by Scott Abel. This book addresses some of the mental, emotional, and behavioral problems that can manifest from trying to attain that Ideal Body Image. The reason I bought this book is that it asked the following questions:

1) If you have ever struggled with your Body Image; you need to read this book!

2) If you have ever struggled with Binge Eating, over eating, or emotional eating; you need to read this book!

3) If you have ever felt low, depressed or insecure because of your physical mirror image; you need to read this book!

4) If you compete in any area of the vanity industries, such as Bodybuilding, Modelling, Fitness, Figure, Beauty Pageants, etc.; you need to read this book!

5) If you are a competitor and you have ever suffered post-contest depression; you need to read this book!

6) If you are a coach or trainer to competitors in the Fitness Industry; you need to read this book!

Out of the 6 questions, #2, 3, 4, and 5.

Question number 2 hits a nerve because I have episodes of binge eating. That is why I love the cycle diet because I found a way that I can binge and maintain my weight. But a down side of the cycle diet for me is that my "carb loads" always went beyond the maximal time I was suppose to "load" and I found it becoming easier to put away 6,000-7,000 calories in a day. At first it was hard to eat that many calories, but then it got easier and easier. That disturbed me and I think the cycle diet encourages this negative behavior that I have always had.

Question number 3....sure I have times I hate what I look like in the mirror. Probably more often than not. The other day I put on some jeans and a tee and looked at myself in disgust....while I don't think I am fat, I will be quick to label myself as "thick". I changed my clothes 3 times trying to look leaner to no avail. As I came down the stairs disgusted my daughter made the comment, you look so freakin cute mom!! You are so skinny. I thanked her thinking wow....can't she see this extra 4 pounds I am carrying? Then I headed out the door to meet up with some friends whom I have not seen since May and they both commented...on how small I was. I did not see myself as small at all that day. On the other hand, there are days that I like the way I look. These days are usually when I am in a glycogen depleted state after having no carbs for 4-5 days. Problem, eh?

Question #4 hits home because I plan to compete.

Question #5. From Jan 1, 2011 thru Mar 26, 2011 I did a bb.com challenge trying to win $25,000. I worked my butt off to get lean as I could and I lost 22 pounds and got to the low teens in bodyfat. The day after the challenge I did not know what to do with myself and I got really depressed. I worked so hard for this? So hard for 1 day of photos? And I did not win a damn thing? What the heck? I have a tendency to feel this way during the Christmas holiday. I am so excited about preparing for Christmas, buying the presents, planning the family get together cooking. So much energy into one day, and then all the presents are opened, we eat and then what? Then I have to take all the decorations down which takes forever!!!!All this prep for this??? I love the excitement and the challenge in the prep....but after the event I ask myself every time...all that energy and money for this? I can see this happening when I compete.

So, I bought the book and I need the book! Lol!! So far it is a good read and I am learning a thing or two.

Well it is time for my dungeon workout!!!

- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad


  1. does it have any realistic strategies how to overcome body image disorder? i can identify to many of your feelings. wondered whether this book really helps to overcome these issues or just explain them.

    1. Yes, he discusses working toward recovery and overcoming body image disorder. I like his books. I also have his book "Your Truth is Calling" and " Food Issues and You. He used to be my coach and his coaching methods are helpful, however, I have since changed coaches because I needed just a bit more personal online coaching.