Macro Nutrients Cal 2300 F 60g C 230g P180g
Yesterday was great until around 8:30 pm. At around 8:35 pm I went out of my mind! I went on a hunt for processed carbs in my kitchen. I opened the pantry and woohoo...half of a big bag of animal crackers. I devoured all the animal crackers. Then I hunted some more....saltine crackers...yum...I ate 25 crackers, chocolate m&m's...I ate a few....ummmmm, skittles.....I love skittles...I ate about a serving. Micholob ultra light beer....gulp.
I went to my room feeling carb happy and just a little bit guilty. I decided to go to body recomposition.com and read some articles.....learn some more about fat loss and gaining muscle lol. I read a few articles and then sat quietly and listened my chattering in my head.
Here's my conversation with myself....
"Ok Annette, what was that all about? You can't blame it on your period now can you? So how do you eel right now after scarfing down 1000 calories in less than an hour? Well, I don't feel that bad, I needed the calories to kick my leptin levels up anyway. I can recover from this. I will do really good tomorrow. A new day. I will do everything spot on. I am not going to stress about this. Maybe I will get up tomorrow and the scale will remain the same....just like after my refeed days on Friday. Yeah....I will look alright in the morning and I will do everything right. I just have a few more pounds to lose to reach my goal. I will be ok. Don't give it a second thought."
I decided to put my pajamas on and go to bed. I went right to sleep.
My internal alarm went off at 5am. I felt my belly....damn...a bit bloated. Then I got up and pee'd and then looked in the mirror. Awwww mannnn....I look like crap. I looked flat, no abs without flexing and I just looked blah. I stripped off the pajamas for the moment of truth....the scale. Dang it!!! Up over a pound! I was pissed at myself. So I went back to bed so that I could relax plan the start of the rest of my day in my head. I did a few positive affirmations and then accidentally drifted back to sleep. I woke up at 7:30am in a panic! I am usually at work at 7:30 am on Mondays. Mondays are busy at work, I had time cards, meetings, a presentation that I had to finish up by the end of the day...and of course all the other interruptions that occurs on a busy inpatient unit.
I hurry and shower, throw some makeup on my face and puffy eyes. My hair was puffy too, threw my scrubs on. Ran down stairs, got a bottle of water from the fridge, drank half with my vitamins and mixed 2 scoops of protein powder in the other half. I then retrieved 2 32oz power aide zeros from the fridge and threw my protein shake, and power aides in a kroger bag and headed to the car. I bolted to work and arrived at 8:30am. Of course, several of my staff were waiting for me to offload all the issues/concerns that happened over the weekend as I gathered up timecards to reconcile in the computer. I tried to be as polite as possible and listen to everything, but I had to get the timecards done because I had a meeting at 9:30 and it usually takes me at least an hour to do timecards on a pay week. So, at 8:45 I asked 2 of my nurses if I can get back with them later in the day about their concerns. Begrudgingly they said yes, and off I went doing time cards. Fifteen minutes into my timecards the President of the hospital secretary called me and asked for the presentation....that was not finished. She said that the president wanted to review my presentation before I presented it to the quality board and that she had to make copies of my presentation for each board member.What???? Are you kidding me????? He never asks to review my presentations???? Of course I was swearing and saying all these things in my head, but I told his secretary that I will have it to her in an hour. So I hurried and finished my timecards, cancelled my 9:30 meeting, shut and locked my office door and went to work finishing my presentation. Before I knew it, it was 2pm. Well past the time frame I submitted my finished presentation to the secretary.
I had nothing to eat all morning. I did have 2 cups of coffee though. At 2:30 I left work and went home for lunch....ate one of my prepared meals. It then dawned on me that I did not drink my protein shake. I will drink it in a few hours. I was back at the hospital by 3:15pm. Checked my emails and then took time to meet with 2 of my nurses that needed to talk to me. I finished up a few more things at the office and headed home around 5pm. I was famished by that time and saw the saltine crackers on the counter. Oh no, here I go again. I ate 8 servings of crackers and about 6 tablespoons of peanut butter. How about some more skittles....had a few servings of them and then I stopped myself. I added the damage to the food log and then changed into my workout clothes to go to the gym. I decided to do 50 minutes of the stairmaster at a moderate clip, and then I left the gym and headed out to the football stadium to run the bleachers and do some interval training. Now mind you, that was not my planned training today. But I did not plan to eat a entire row of saltine crackers with peanut butter either. I thought that I could mitigate some of the damage through cardio...so that is what I did. I burned about 500-600 calories over 80 minutes....probably a bit more.
Despite my moment of weakness, I will never quit and I still have my eye on my goal. I plan to finish out the rest of my evening with clean food to get my protein up and I hope to get my water in. I plan to weigh around 132 by Friday and I will take progress pictures.
Part of me wants to say, forget finishing RFL this week. I have messed up and what's the point. But a stronger part of me says I am not a quitter and I will do this thing. So time to DO WORK and DO RFL!!!
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