Progress Pictures August 17th.....

I took my progress pictures and I will post them as I stated I would. I refused to post last weeks blog pictures as they did not make me happy...it looked like my prior pictures 5 weeks earlier looked better even though I was down 2 pounds in fat. But I am over it and will post the pics. The first picture in leopard print is from end of June/Early July, the blue bikini is last week, and the green bikini is this weeks (the current week).

 

 

As I am slowly getting leaner, sometimes I look at my current pictures (which look perfectly fine to most people) with scrutiny and disappointment. I have to remind myself that I am not chasing that six pack that I used to have right away.

July 2011

August 2013

A few weeks ago my brother posted a picture on Facebook of me with 3 of my kids and husband at my mom's house. I never seen the picture until it appeared on my timeline. I was mortified when I saw it and slightly mad at my brother for posting it. He did not post it to be malicious, it was a good picture of Bob and the kids, but then there was me looking frail and old as I was cutting to try to win a stupid bb.com contest.

OMG!!!!!

I had an aha moment after that picture. After seeing this picture, I started looking at my progress pics from a few years back during the prep for this contest. In order to get lean enough to have cuts in my abs, arms, legs, I had to lose alot of body fat. Unfortunately fat does not melt in the areas that we want it to melt off. My face was too lean...very apparent since I have strong features in my cheek bone areas which aged my face considerably. I lost all my boobs to the point that I had to add a silicone insert in my bikini to fill it out for the photos.

March 26, 2011

March 26, 2011

I bought that bikini maybe 3 weeks prior to the photos...which was a mistake because if you look closely, that bikini did not fit my chest or my bottoms. I needed the next smaller size. I tried this bikini on yesterday and it was hilarious!! I was spilling out of the bikini top and bottom. It was a site to see...for my eyes only, lol.

But, all laughs aside, preparing for this contest and watching my body change from day to day was an amazing learning experience. I have an amazing respect for all bodybuilding and fitness competitors commitment to the sport. To be honest, not everybody can do this sport. It takes an incredible amount of drive and commitment to reach that level of physique requirements for the sport. It is a full time job in and of itself and it is just...well dang crazy if I am honest.  It takes alot of manipulation of sodium and water intake to get the cuts in the abs. It is a delicate balance. In the photo below, I took this picture the night before the pictures and I was hyped about the way my body looked. I was working with this online lady coach...whom I won't name because I did not think she was all that...but in the morning when I got up, I was suppose to carb up just a bit to further bring my cuts in place and guess what? We miscalculated the carb load and I "spilled over" meaning that all my ab cuts just disappeared. If you look at the first pic...you cannot see the cuts in my abs as well as the picture below because water follows  carb intake and if you don't get it just right...you are screwed!! I actually peaked 3 days prior to the photos. How freaking depressing!!

March 25, 2011

I was so stressed out that morning and so pissed, all I could do was cry. So, I sucked up my tears and headed to the photo place to have my pics professionally done and there was a mix up of sorts and they could not take my photos. I WAS DEVASTATED. So, I ended up going to my daughters house and she took the photos that I submitted. I did not win...even though I felt I looked better than some of the girls that did win. I was mad, not disappointed, but mad lol. 

Question is...am I glad I went through 12 weeks prep? And would I do it again? The answer to the first question is Yes, I am glad I went through the rigors of a contest prep. I learned a TON of information about my body and what I can do in just 90 days...and mind you, the first few weeks I was not on task at all...lol. I lost about 25 pounds in 12 weeks, alot of body fat and also some precious muscle. I worked full time and trained like an animal, especially the last 6 weeks, and I stuck to my plan...especially the last 6 weeks.  Gosh...look at the before and after pictures. A big difference 12 weeks can make.

To answer the second question....would I do it again? And my answer to this is probably not. Losing that kind of weight and bodyfat in that time frame is majorly stressful on the body. After the contest when I started eating again, I quickly put the weight back on but then got scared at the rapid weight gain and went on yet another extreme sort of diet....which I loved (Lyle McDonalds UD2 diet). It is interesting reading through all my old blogs and seeing where my mindset was at that point in time. 

And besides, I look BETTER with a little meat on my bones. I look younger today than I did by the end of that contest. My face actually looks younger when I am heavier...but when I go past 155 pounds as I am in the before picture, I start to look older again. So with that said, I look better in-between.

 

 

 

So, I have changed my goals a bit. Instead of getting down to 135 pounds...which is pretty lean for me since I do have decent muscle weight, my new goal will be to hover between 138-140 pounds. If I get much smaller than that, my clothes will not fit and I would have to buy a whole new wardrobe for work and more importantly, I want to look as youthful as a middle aged woman can look so I can't afford to lose more fat in my face.

I need to concentrate more on just being committed to my diet...and training. If I did that, I would be closer to my goal which is on 6 pounds of fat away. I think with 6 pounds of fat gone, I will be able to see a hint of a six pack and I will look good.

So Thank God for a new day and a new start. I think I will title my next blog...."What If...." and discuss my goals from the what if perspective. (What would I look like in 2 weeks if....)

Backpack Heaven....

Another day no workout. I am just beat after a full days work and I just don't feel like killing it at the gym. I am finding a familiar pattern with myself. When stress increases at work, the harder it is for me to stay on plan. I am just exhausted....so I go home and relax.

Part of me feels good being at home relaxing while I type this blog. Another part of me is saying, you need to be at the gym. Oh well....

I carry a lot of stuff to work and so I carry a computer backpack daily. Yup...sometimes I am dressed in business attire with a backpack on my back...a brief case would never suffice...lol. So, I have had my current backpack for 6 years. Gosh... I bought it when I had a Dell laptop. That was about 6 laptops ago. I got new laptops  but my good old faithful backpack stayed with me all these years and served me well.

Old Faithful

Well, if you look closely, my strap on the left side started unraveling about 3 weeks ago. It got worse daily until the foam started making its way out rendering my strap unusable. So sadly I had to start looking for a new bag. This was a sad moment for me because I LOVED my backpack and I had a spot for everything I like to carried in it. 

So the hunt began on eBay. It took me forever looking at bag after bag on eBay, but then I spotted it. It looked kinda like my bag. The most important thing I was looking for in a replacement back pack was a lot of slots for all my things. I FOUND IT!!! JOY. Here SHE IS....

Newbie Backpack....also got another package with some face products I use
Excuse my un-made bed....

I took her out of the box and she felt sturdy...but not comfortable like old faithful. She was stiff and new smelling. 

Sadly I went to old faithful and started unpacking her and moving my contents to the new bag. I felt guilty...kinda like that swifter sweeper commercial where the mop gets thrown in the closet and the mop meets the broom....you know that commercial. 

Starting to unpack old faithful...so sad

So, first thing I took off was my bodybuilding.com luggage tag that has all my info just in case my bag gets lost. Then item by item I started moving my stuff. I had tons of room in my new stiff bag.

First pouch I have my mouse and toothbrush and pens...yeah I know my
toothbrush should have a cover. Nah....

Second pouch houses my iPads and my Surface Tablet and a comic book

Most important pouch...my makeup bag, purse, and brush

My MAC and Cord pouch

Side pouch, motrin, tylenol, and work badge Left side and
right side my lip balm

Newbie back pack weighs in at 21.2 pounds....without some extra stuff that I usually add like food and stuff. I adjusted the straps, but she still feels "not quite right" like old faithful. I can't part with old faithful. I put her in the closet....maybe she will find good company with the shoes and other things I have abandoned.

***sigh***

So.... time to put my PJs on, surf a few forums, then go to bed.

All work and no play.....

8:30pm and I am just getting home from work. At one of my hospitals, the psych departments went live on the nursing documentation in the electronic health record today. This is not a super big go-live like I had a few months back, but it is big enough to drain the heck out of me. 

Up at 0400 in the morning. With only 4 hours of sleep last night I looked like crap....bags under my eyes large enough to carry groceries in them. Agh!!  I was also quite sore all over from my lower body workout on Monday and upper body workout on Tuesday. Thank God for coffee. I just love that stuff. I stumble down the stairs to the Kuerig and patiently wait as the ready light flashed. Coffee always make me feel better. So I got my coffee and headed back to bed to drink my coffee and check on some work email. Then I had to go through the tedious task of masking my bags and dark circles with makeup. My makeup routine normally takes 20-30 minutes from washing my face (which is a ritual with several different products) to putting on my face. It takes me the longest to do my eyes. But when I have to cover up things like bags and dark circles...just add 10 more minutes to my routine. So it took me 45 minutes just to look half way decent this morning.... Then the hair....sigh. It sucks to be a woman. It took me 65 minutes to get my hair and face done, then out the door.

I arrived at work and often times I am greeted by my favorite house keeper. He is a guy whose uniform is immaculately pressed with creases and everything. He always  greets me with a smile and a big hug and says, "annette, I like you." Then I walk past the customer service desk and I look for my favorite volunteer...an older German lady with a heavy accent. I love it when she is there because she is just so nice and always has a big smile. She was not there this morning. But then my other favorite housekeeper who warms my heart, frequently greets me on the 2nd and I always ask him...how are you today? And he always says with a big smile I am blessed my sister. I LOVE THAT!

Then, to the office and off to work I go being a cheer leader for the Golive, a trouble shooter, a teacher, and a resource for everyone involved. I worked my butt off last week making sure that all the pcs had all the applications loaded, all the staff had security rights to enter the applications, and all the monotonous IT stuff we have to do to make sure that everything works when we flip the switch. My goal was to have NO technical problems and no issues with staff unable to get to the applications to chart. Well heck, I did not meet my goal. We had 1 person that was not set-up to enter the system at all and a group of people that could not chart in the admission database....a pretty important charting element. CRAP! We fixed it on the fly, but my high hopes of being perfect we're shattered...lol.

Long day at work...but a good first day for Golive.

No training....I am going to bed early....like now. 

Is this baby girl not the cutest thing you have ever seen? I don't know who she is....but she is crazy adorable. Found her photo on Pinterest. 

Twenty-six Things You May Not Know About Me.....

Training and Nutrition Things

• I can eat as much food as a man. There is nothing girlie about me when I am around food. 
• I don't like to train, but I love the way I feel after I train
• I typically stay "on plan" with my diet 5 days a week and open the weekends up to indulge and what I consider on plan may surprise you. On plan means...
• I eat clean food such as lean meats and veggies throughout the day keeping my calories below 1600 OR
• I eat whatever I feel like one time a day and then won't eat anything else thus keeping my calories below 1600...like today I ate 2 pieces of pizza, fries, a brownie, and a diet pop and in my mind....I am on plan...lol
• If I eat "clean" all day and decide I want to include fruit...I can only eat berries and I eat an entire quart of strawberries and a pint of blueberries (in one sitting...lol)
• When I train, I train hard and that is what helps me continue to lose my weight despite my less than stellar "on plan" diet
• I never ever directly train my abs...I hate ab work so I don't do it and if I eat a "real" clean diet consistently I can get a six pack without doing ab work....just nutrition and training with free weights mostly...which require the core to be engaged most of the time
• At one point, I was certified as a personal trainer through the ISSA and never trained anyone..lol (too busy)
• I drink way too much coffee
• I chew alot of gum because I am a nervous nilly.....something is constantly in motion even when I sit down and try to relax
• I can climb 10 flights of stairs now and breath normally...lol.  I have been doing alot of stairs at work and now I am conditioned to do stairs.
• My training routine usually takes me less than 35 minutes....and I like that 
• I have an online personal trainer whom I connect with weekly to discuss my goals and my mental needs...lol. He is my psychiatrist more than my trainer. Poor guy.

Non Training Things

• I have enough face rags to wash my face twice a day for 3 months...I have a face rag obsession..lol
• I HATE it when guys grunt when lifting weights!! Can I be honest about what I think when I have to listen to a grunter? This is what I do and what I think, we are all adults here....
• I look at the grunter...
• Then I roll my eyes 
• Then I picture him as the annoying guy in the hotel room next to mine making all that noise that I don't want to hear
• Then I picture him expending all that energy satisfying himself at the expense of his mate and other people
• Then I think..."I bet he is a 2 pump chump" yup... 2 PUMP CHUMP!!!! Me and a few girls in the boys gym smile at each other as he grunts away...because I have shared the 2 pump chump story with all the girls and we amuse ourselves as he grunts away
• And thus our workout is kinda disrupted. Grrrrr.....
• I have a phobia of worms, maggots, anything small that slithers....I become paralyzed with it and sometimes I hyperventilate in parking lots or outside areas after it rains and the worms come out. It is even worse with maggots....Just shoot me!!!
• If I like an article of clothing, I will buy it in every color that it comes in...sometimes twice
• I am mildly obsessed with makeup
• I love clothes, but can care less about shoes... I own probably 40 pairs of dress pants and a 100 tops, sweaters, and blazer...but I only have 4 pair of shoes...lol
• I am crazy about computers, iPads, anything techie...and I have it.
• I am the oldest of 3 siblings
• I look forward to my 50th....I will be 50 Jan 2015
• I sleep in flannel sheets and flannel pajamas all year round
• I want to deck a person that burps out loud, farts, or blow his/her nose at the table
• Sweaty guys in the gym that don't wipe off their equipment DISGUST ME
• I am screamish about blood...even tho I have worked as an RN for 25 years around blood. I triple glove and go to extreme measures not to get one drop on me...lol
• I have an uncanny sense of smell that really bothers me at times
• My favorite candy is circus peanuts 
• I live to spoil my grandkids...I have 4 grands and 4 adult kids (youngest 17)

No Looking Back Baby....

So folks....just an update on my training and nutrition status that I will have to report to my coach tomorrow. So what have I done the past 7 days in regards to training and nutrition? I have done nothing....yup, nothing, nada, zero....

I can sit here and make all kinds of excuses, some legitimate and others not so legitimate but the truth of the matter is this. I DID NOT FEEL LIKE GOING TO THE GYM! Yes, call me inconsistent, lazy, non-productive and nonmotivated....hehehe.

I will get it together this week since I did state that I will take progress pictures on Saturday. I don't want my progress pictures looking too bad. I am down to 146 pounds now on a good day. This morning I was 147.4. That did not surprise me since I have been making up the calories I did not take in while I was sick...lol.

So, I am counting on my coach to read this blog so that we don't have to talk about last week. In church this morning, the guest preacher preached about not living in REGRETS. So as she preached away, I smiled and agreed with her....yeah preach sister!! No regrets about not working out last week...yeah reach sister!! No regrets about eating like a hog....yeah preach sister! No regrets for not blogging and logging my calories..... yeah preach sister!

She preached...."You cannot move forward if you are constantly looking behind you"....yeah preach sister. So, with that said, I have erased all the things I did not do for my fitness journey goals last week out of my head. And by the way, after church I rushed home and had some BREADED chicken, some DREADED italian bread, 4 pieces of licorice and a Mikes hard lemonade. I am erasing that from my memory too.

I will get back on the band wagon tomorrow lol....Promise. I will probably work my butt off so that my progress pics at least appear like I am on the right track lol.

Now, Do I look like I have regrets? LOL

So, this weeks goal is simple...get back on track and take progress pictures on Saturday and don't look back...just move forward baby!

Progress.....not

My alarm did not go off Tuesday morning. Something in my head woke me up (thank God) because it was 6:30 am and technically I should be on the road by 7 am or so. I swore under my breath and jumped out of bed right into the shower. I wanted to take my progress pictures that morning...but I overslept. I took a 5 minute shower and then hurried and brushed my teeth and heated up the flat iron as I started putting my makeup on. I was feeling crappy about rushing around as this was not my usual routine. 

Usually I would wake up, pee, make me some coffee, get my mini iPad setup in the bathroom to check out the new makeup videos posted by some people that I subscribe to on YouTube. Then I would play a video as I wash my face...which is a ritual unto itself. I sip at my coffee and then hop in the shower.

After the shower, I put my makeup on then decide what I will wear to work. My routine takes 75 minutes. 

In the middle of brushing my teeth, I stopped the the adrenaline rush. I decided to CHILL OUT! I decided that I would relax, make my coffee, put my makeup on and take my progress pictures prior to going to work. Usually I am at work around 8am. I ended up getting to work around 9:15 am....so no biggie. I will just stay later to get all my work done.

So I put my makeup on and quickly took a lot of progress pics. I figured the progress pictures would look okay...you know, show some progress. I did not have time to download them to my pc so I threw the camera and my laptop in my book bag to download them on my lunch break at work. So...that is what I did. When I took my break, I looked at the pictures. Instead of seeing the Annette I thought I would see, I saw this other Annette in the pictures. Out of the 50 plus pics I took, none of them looked great, but that did not bother me too much because I ASSUMED these pics would look BETTER than my progress pics 4 weeks ago. I was down a couple pounds on the scale, and I THOUGHT I could see more muscle definition here and there. I fit my clothes better...and so surely my pictures will look better....right? 

I was PISSED OFF when I pulled my last previous pictures 4 weeks ago and compared them to the pictures I took yesterday. I ACTUALLY LOOKED WORSE!! That has not happened to me before and of course I went in an immediate depressed state. WTF!!!!! I initially sent 15 pics to my coach...without the comparison pics from 4 weeks ago because I just wanted to get the pics sent out as I planned and stated I would. I told him that he would receive another set of pictures with the side-by-side comparisons later when I could get it done (I was having problems with an application that I use to do my side-by-side pics). I BEGRUDGINGLY sent the side-by-side pics to him as I wallowed in shame...lol. I was being dramatic.....very dramatic. But, I expect more of myself. I promised myself that I would continually improve...albeit slow improvements. Well...no improvements this go around. Actually, I looked worse. Down 4 pounds and I look worse!!!! WTF!!!!!!! 

With all the dramatization, people who read my blog would want to see the pics. And I should post them. But I am not. I will take pictures next Saturday morning and post those. ***sigh***

Below is the picture I took after my bikini progress pictures and my work photo looks fine.  But underneath those clothes is a different story that I will keep between me an my coach. 

I have not trained at all yet this week. I could not train on Monday due to working later than usual and other commitments, yesterday I was depressed and having a pity party instead of sucking it up and working out like I should. (But to be honest, I was really tired and was in bed before 8pm yesterday). Today, I was at the hospital with a family member late and was late getting home, so I went with my husband for a walk with the dog for 45 minutes. So....I need to get to the gym. Maybe I will get up at 5 am tomorrow and do lower body Day 1 session....and then after work do upper body Day 2 training. Not optimal...but at least I have a plan. We will see what happens tomorrow. 

Aliens inside my body

Today is the first day since Sunday that I feel kind of ok. I have been sick since Sunday and have not had any energy at all. I was off 2 weeks on vacation and was suppose to start back to work this past Monday, but I felt so bad that I called off sick Monday and Tuesday. 

I had a terrible stomach virus. I swear that aliens invaded my stomach and had babies. Anything I tried to eat went right through me at first....major nausea and diarrhea. I thought that perhaps I had food poisoning because I got sick an hour after eating at Chipotle in Findlay, Ohio. My hubby had basically the same thing and he was fine, so maybe it was not food poisoning but nonetheless, I was sicker than a dog. I did not eat or drink anything for the rest of the day Sunday. 

Monday I felt no better, tried to eat a piece of toast and the aliens in my stomach started going crazy. My bowel sounds were so loud that my husband was concerned. He could not believe it, nor could I. The rumbling preceded the run to the toilet from just a few bites of toast. Had the same problem Tuesday and Wednesday. I went to work feeling like shit Wednesday. I did not eat or drink anything while I was at work because I did not want to have the aliens singing in my stomach for everyone and then having to make it to a woman's bathroom (which might be occupied....OMG that would be all bad). So, when I got home, I ate a little bit of a sub and my stomach grumbled BUT no diarrhea. So I ate a little more and then noticed that if I ate a serving size of food I would have diarrhea, but if I ate a bite an hour, my stomach would grumble but no diarrhea. So I ate small bites a sandwich every hour. 

Today, I was able to eat normal size portions, but my stomach was still rumbling and I am needing to go to the bathroom....BUT, it is not straight out diarrhea. Progress. I even ate at work today...really late (close to the end of the day just in case)...lol. I worked in Michigan, 2 hours away from home, so I was a bit concerned about the trip home, but I made it.

So suffice it to say, no training at all this week. I got on the scale this morning and found that I lost the 5 pounds that I gained over vacation plus 5 more pounds. I have not seen 144.7 for over a year. I even did an ab and leg flex pose in the mirror today and saw some abs and a little separation in my legs. I will see if it is still there tomorrow, and if so I will take a few progress pics...lol. Might as well take credit for the weight loss...hehehe. 

Maybe tomorrow I will do some minor cardio...nothing major because I have not had enough calories to really amount to anything since Sunday. I do not have an appetite AT ALL which is not like me!!

Things will get better.