I'm a do some good for my hater today
I'm a do some good for my hater today
Lord help me with tomorrow........
I don't want to be fake today
So all my haters gonna have to take a hater break today
I'm a bake a hater cake today
Buy em a shake today
Get em a t-bone steak today
We gone go and play sum ball today
And I'm a make sure that I don't ball hog today
Take ya to the mall today
Doing it all today
We gone ball till we fall today
I'm a share my world today
And I'm a introduce you to my family today
And share my God today
And how he made a way
And how he made my troubles fade away
This is hater day
And instead of wishing that all of my haters laid away
I'm a be like a teacher
I'm a give a "A" today
And take the other failing grade away
I'm a pay my hater's bill today
And I'm a be sincere and ask em how they feel today
May even cut their grass today
Take out their trash today
Or even leave em sum cash today
I will say something nice today
I'm a hold my tongue and stay outta them fights today
Give them the right of way
Cause it's hater day
I'm a pay my hater's way
Maybe hard today
But I'm a absolutely show the love of god today
Help em get a job today
And if they have to walk give them a ride in my car today
I'm a have my hater's back today
And I'm a keep it real, and won't put em on act today
As a matter of fact, I'm a help you win today
The mess ends today, I'm a make you my friend today
See right now, I want vengeance on all my enemies Let's keep it real
But it's really not about the way that I feel
See I don't wanna do my will, but the will of Christ
So even when you do me wrong, I'm a still do you right
Lord I'm gone try (Lord help me with tomorrow)
Not to punch this dude/girl in the eye (Lord help me with tomorrow)
Father give me strength( Lord help me with tomorrow)
Cause tomorrow I don't wanna slip (Lord help me with tomorrow)
I don't want flesh to get in the way (Lord help me with tomorrow)
Lord help me for tomorrow (Lord help me with tomorrow)
Lord help me for tomorrow (Lord help me with tomorrow)
Flesh make you wanna do thangs
I love this song by Canton Jones.
I try to live this song everyday. There was a time when I was very hurt over something that occurred on my job. Instead of lashing out, I went to my car and put this song on and cried for a few minutes...ended up playing this song 3 times before I started to want to live it. You see, I had to walk back into work with my head high, smile on my face and forgiveness in my heart.
Then there was the time when a person shared some hurtful gossip that involved me. My question in my mind at the time that this person shared this gossip with me was....why did you feel the need to share this information with me? What was your intent behind sharing this hurtful gossip. Some things are better left unsaid. But no.....people love drama. Forgive them Annette.
Then there are the people that love to judge everything I do and can't wait for me to make a mistake and then they smile in my face like they are my friends. Don't ya know that I know you are not my friend? The negative energy that fake people emit is seering and felt deep as they smile in my face. I know.... Love that person today Annette.
And then there are the jealous people....who hate ya because they hate themselves. I know who you are.... God help them because I can't.
It has taken many years for me to get to the point where I just hold my peace.....most of the time (I am not perfect).
Training....Going GREAT!!
Diet....GOOD....not great :)
Tuesday, April 3, 2012
Sunday, April 1, 2012
Attitude Mode
Today I have an I don't care what you think of me attitude. Well, I feel like that more often than not, but some days I am really bad. Maybe it is my hormones....yep blame it on the peri-menopause. Ya know, people are constantly judging me and judging you...every minute.
It is human nature I guess. We all have this preconceived notion about how people should look and act and think. I hate that. I don't want to judge people....but I do. I am working really hard to stop judging because it does me or anybody else no good.
I was at the store today and a person who knows I train came up to me with a great big grin on her face. She came to me really excited. She said, guess what....I bought a membership to Brett's gym (a gym that I attend) and I left work and went to the gym and exercised 2 hours! I instantly judged this beautiful girl. The first thing I thought as I smiled encouragingly toward her was...."TWO HOURS!! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO FOR 2 HOURS IN THE GYM." I was smiling in her face and thinking she had no clue at the same time. I HATE PHONY PEOPLE....you know, the ones that smile in your face and think negative thoughts about you at the same time. I hate myself.....cuz I do that. But I am trying really hard to break that nasty trait.
Maybe this girl spent 2 hours in the gym learning the new equipment. Maybe someone told her that she needed to spend 2 hours to lose 10 pounds in a week...tons of misinformation out there. Maybe she just loved the atmosphere and was enjoying every bit of the experience. I don't know her story to judge her. But what I did see is that she was proud to be in a gym and that is awesome.
My coach's material has greatly helped me to recognize why I sometimes think the way I do or act the way I do. I am learning about some of the positive aspects of my self-talk as well as some of the destructive aspects of my self-talk (thoughts). He recently posted a blog that I liked, but actually caused me to dig around and find a blog that he wrote that I liked better.
Here are 2 of the blogs that I think about often ....(they are long, but worth reading)
Getting Real About Getting Real Part 1
Getting Real About Getting Real Part 2
So when I find myself wandering off of the straight and narrow (less traveled) path, I seek wisdom in material like Scott's stuff or books.
On another forum (bodybuildingrevealed.com), one of my favorite moderators is named Markus. I read his stuff all the time as well as he answers questions that people have on diet and training. It is a private forum for members only, but an invaluable resource to have. Like Scott, Markus has the mental aspects of the game down. I have learned a ton from him....best moderator on the web.
Training is on point, diet ok...but not perfect. I am trying to be on point 6/7 days....leaving 1 day to eat what I want. I think I can lose the weight I need to fit my new clothes the way I want having 1 cheat day. I need to limit my cheat day to moderation...not a binge. I have a problem doing that...I must admit.
Yesterday, we had a small baby shower for my daughter who is having baby #2. Her first baby is not even a year yet...feels like we just had her first baby shower.
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| People need to live by this motto & not worry about what I do! |
I was at the store today and a person who knows I train came up to me with a great big grin on her face. She came to me really excited. She said, guess what....I bought a membership to Brett's gym (a gym that I attend) and I left work and went to the gym and exercised 2 hours! I instantly judged this beautiful girl. The first thing I thought as I smiled encouragingly toward her was...."TWO HOURS!! WHAT THE HECK DID YOU DO FOR 2 HOURS IN THE GYM." I was smiling in her face and thinking she had no clue at the same time. I HATE PHONY PEOPLE....you know, the ones that smile in your face and think negative thoughts about you at the same time. I hate myself.....cuz I do that. But I am trying really hard to break that nasty trait.
Maybe this girl spent 2 hours in the gym learning the new equipment. Maybe someone told her that she needed to spend 2 hours to lose 10 pounds in a week...tons of misinformation out there. Maybe she just loved the atmosphere and was enjoying every bit of the experience. I don't know her story to judge her. But what I did see is that she was proud to be in a gym and that is awesome.
My coach's material has greatly helped me to recognize why I sometimes think the way I do or act the way I do. I am learning about some of the positive aspects of my self-talk as well as some of the destructive aspects of my self-talk (thoughts). He recently posted a blog that I liked, but actually caused me to dig around and find a blog that he wrote that I liked better.
Here are 2 of the blogs that I think about often ....(they are long, but worth reading)
Getting Real About Getting Real Part 1
Getting Real About Getting Real Part 2
So when I find myself wandering off of the straight and narrow (less traveled) path, I seek wisdom in material like Scott's stuff or books.
On another forum (bodybuildingrevealed.com), one of my favorite moderators is named Markus. I read his stuff all the time as well as he answers questions that people have on diet and training. It is a private forum for members only, but an invaluable resource to have. Like Scott, Markus has the mental aspects of the game down. I have learned a ton from him....best moderator on the web.
Training is on point, diet ok...but not perfect. I am trying to be on point 6/7 days....leaving 1 day to eat what I want. I think I can lose the weight I need to fit my new clothes the way I want having 1 cheat day. I need to limit my cheat day to moderation...not a binge. I have a problem doing that...I must admit.
Yesterday, we had a small baby shower for my daughter who is having baby #2. Her first baby is not even a year yet...feels like we just had her first baby shower.
Thursday, March 29, 2012
Sexy.....not!!!!
Training has been on the spot this week and I can feel my efforts in all the muscles I have worked thus far. No training tonite. I am going to head to the gym and do the stair master for a bit.
My diet has been almost there...not perfect. Last night I did not get all my calories in. I was sick to my stomach for a little while and I just could not bring myself to eat my last meal of rice and lentils.
The picture posted is my rendition of trying to be sexy...haha. For folks that know me, sexy is not me. The minute I open my mouth and smile, all the sexy goes away and a crooked, thin lip, gummy smile takes over my face.
My sister is the "sexy" one. When we were growing up, my sis had the voice, wore the heels, and had the look. My mom used to tenderly tell me...Annette, you are so cute. LOL....cute is ok.
So, I am on track to fit in all the new clothes that I bought for my new job the way I want to fit in them. I bought all small clothes and a lot of the tops are kind of fitted. I cannot be having any over the bra back fat or the muffin top thing going on. I have some back fat that I am not happy with. Luckily, I tend to lean out relatively fast if I act right with the nutrition part of the plan. Coaches workout guarantees a leaner me if I work it and eat on plan. His training is a killer for sure.
Well, it is time to train.
Cheers
Wednesday, March 28, 2012
All over the place blog
So I woke up this morning feeling slim. Haha 2 days ago I woke up feeling fat. I look the same today as I did on Fat Monday, but my head is in a different place today.
I got out of bed about 5am and decided to make me a cup of hot cider instead of coffee in my keurig machine. It is low calorie and I don't drink it much because I think it makes me break out. My body HATES the sugar substitutes and I get zits like a teenager if I partake in too many diet drinks.
Ummm listen to your body Annette....you should really throw that crap away....but I don't for occasions such as this. I wanted the stupid diet cider and it was sooo good. Actually I wanted more, but I controlled myself. Another thing about the splenda crap is that the more I drink diet stuff or chew sugarless gum, the hungrier I get....so I need to keep it at a minimum.
Now I am blogging on my lunch break as a distraction. I just had my lunch and I am freakin still starvin marvin. Crap....hold on, let me go get a cup of coffee...that might help. I will be right back.
Back!! Hot coffee in hand...I love the look, taste, smell, and feel of a hot cup of black coffee. It completes me :)
So where was I at....first paragraph....oh yeah.... discussing my morning. OK...so I drank my cider as I picked up my iPad to check on a game I was playing before I went to bed .....words with friends. I am good at this game, however there is this dude...a teacher at the high school...Mr. Craft, who consistently beats me by just a couple of points. It was music to my ears when I heard that little end of the game sound with the written words YOU WON!!!! By 1 freaking point....but I won. I told myself yesterday that I was going to win this game and I did.....woohoo. Finally. Hoorah....YEAH. (I know...I can be just a little competitive, but you just don't understand....this dude is good). Mr. Craft has won 2/6 games and all of the games have been super close except for one where he beat the living crap out of me...over 100 point lead. I digressed yet again.
Around 6am I headed off to the gym....wore the same yoga pants that I wore yesterday without washing them. YUK!! I am such a scuz! On my way to the gym I was hoping and praying that the dude that was there yesterday was not there today because he may think....she had those same pants on yesterday. EEEW. In all actuality, he probably did not even notice what I was wearing, but before I digress yet again, suffice it to say that the same dude was there lol with his BLARING music.
I sooooo wanted to have the gym to myself lifting to the sounds of Rush, Kool Mo Dee, Tyga, Phil Collins, Canton Jones, E-40, and Eminem. My music is all over the place....one song would be Faded or Rack City or Motto, and then the next would be christian music, followed by eminem. Like me, my music is all over the place. I like all kinds of music for the most part. People usually don't mind when they come in and my music is playing (whoever is there first get dibs on the music box). I have something for everybody...from the hard rockers to the R & B folks... the rapper lovers, and christian music...no country though. I can't workout well to country music...but most of the gymers like that hard rock stuff. So I like to be first to get the dibs on the sound system. I digressed again.
I worked my chest and arms this morning. I struggled with the workout. I was weak...I mean really weak. What the heck???. I am doing a routine that coach gave me and it is tough. Some days I breeze right through it, others I struggle. What's up with that!! Today was a struggle. I did a set of bench presses immediately followed by pushups. I do several sets of that combination and it is a killer. I knew I was toast after the first set. CRAP. I trained hard and made it through the entire training in 50 minutes.
Then I went home and had some oats and almonds. Then out of the blue, I decided that I needed to color my hair. Mind you, I needed to be to work in an hour and inbetween that, I had to take my daughter to school. So, I put the color in my hair, let it sit 30 minutes, drove my daughter to school, came back, took a shower, put my hair in a ponytail, put some makeup on, donned my scrubs and I was at the hospital within an hour.....lol.
No meetings today!! I don't know how to act. I have plenty to do.....paralyzed actually.
Here I am with my best friend at work....Amy. She is the director of the ED and Dialysis. We have worked together for 19 years and I am going to SORELY miss her when I leave in April!!
K...home now. Before I left work, my temporary crown fell out of my mouth. This is the third time this dang thing fell out. The first time I went to the dentist on my lunch break and had it replaced. The second time I decided to head to the pharmacy and get some denture adhesive and that lasted a week. Now it is out again. I guess I will find the denture stuff. I can't remember what I did with it.....grrr.
Could not find the denture cream so back to the store I go....
I found this stuff to repair loose caps. Gonna give that a try. My appointment for my crown is Friday. It just needs to last me a few more days.
It is in.....I will eat my almonds on the other side of my teeth lol.
I am all over the place with this blog. It is time to close it out. Blogging is good. It keeps me focused on my training and diet.....omg, here I go again..with more writing when I said I needed to close this blog out....time to go.
I got out of bed about 5am and decided to make me a cup of hot cider instead of coffee in my keurig machine. It is low calorie and I don't drink it much because I think it makes me break out. My body HATES the sugar substitutes and I get zits like a teenager if I partake in too many diet drinks.
Ummm listen to your body Annette....you should really throw that crap away....but I don't for occasions such as this. I wanted the stupid diet cider and it was sooo good. Actually I wanted more, but I controlled myself. Another thing about the splenda crap is that the more I drink diet stuff or chew sugarless gum, the hungrier I get....so I need to keep it at a minimum.
Now I am blogging on my lunch break as a distraction. I just had my lunch and I am freakin still starvin marvin. Crap....hold on, let me go get a cup of coffee...that might help. I will be right back.
Back!! Hot coffee in hand...I love the look, taste, smell, and feel of a hot cup of black coffee. It completes me :)
So where was I at....first paragraph....oh yeah.... discussing my morning. OK...so I drank my cider as I picked up my iPad to check on a game I was playing before I went to bed .....words with friends. I am good at this game, however there is this dude...a teacher at the high school...Mr. Craft, who consistently beats me by just a couple of points. It was music to my ears when I heard that little end of the game sound with the written words YOU WON!!!! By 1 freaking point....but I won. I told myself yesterday that I was going to win this game and I did.....woohoo. Finally. Hoorah....YEAH. (I know...I can be just a little competitive, but you just don't understand....this dude is good). Mr. Craft has won 2/6 games and all of the games have been super close except for one where he beat the living crap out of me...over 100 point lead. I digressed yet again.
Around 6am I headed off to the gym....wore the same yoga pants that I wore yesterday without washing them. YUK!! I am such a scuz! On my way to the gym I was hoping and praying that the dude that was there yesterday was not there today because he may think....she had those same pants on yesterday. EEEW. In all actuality, he probably did not even notice what I was wearing, but before I digress yet again, suffice it to say that the same dude was there lol with his BLARING music.
I sooooo wanted to have the gym to myself lifting to the sounds of Rush, Kool Mo Dee, Tyga, Phil Collins, Canton Jones, E-40, and Eminem. My music is all over the place....one song would be Faded or Rack City or Motto, and then the next would be christian music, followed by eminem. Like me, my music is all over the place. I like all kinds of music for the most part. People usually don't mind when they come in and my music is playing (whoever is there first get dibs on the music box). I have something for everybody...from the hard rockers to the R & B folks... the rapper lovers, and christian music...no country though. I can't workout well to country music...but most of the gymers like that hard rock stuff. So I like to be first to get the dibs on the sound system. I digressed again.
I worked my chest and arms this morning. I struggled with the workout. I was weak...I mean really weak. What the heck???. I am doing a routine that coach gave me and it is tough. Some days I breeze right through it, others I struggle. What's up with that!! Today was a struggle. I did a set of bench presses immediately followed by pushups. I do several sets of that combination and it is a killer. I knew I was toast after the first set. CRAP. I trained hard and made it through the entire training in 50 minutes.
Then I went home and had some oats and almonds. Then out of the blue, I decided that I needed to color my hair. Mind you, I needed to be to work in an hour and inbetween that, I had to take my daughter to school. So, I put the color in my hair, let it sit 30 minutes, drove my daughter to school, came back, took a shower, put my hair in a ponytail, put some makeup on, donned my scrubs and I was at the hospital within an hour.....lol.
 |
| Me and Amy |
Here I am with my best friend at work....Amy. She is the director of the ED and Dialysis. We have worked together for 19 years and I am going to SORELY miss her when I leave in April!!
K...home now. Before I left work, my temporary crown fell out of my mouth. This is the third time this dang thing fell out. The first time I went to the dentist on my lunch break and had it replaced. The second time I decided to head to the pharmacy and get some denture adhesive and that lasted a week. Now it is out again. I guess I will find the denture stuff. I can't remember what I did with it.....grrr.
Could not find the denture cream so back to the store I go....
I found this stuff to repair loose caps. Gonna give that a try. My appointment for my crown is Friday. It just needs to last me a few more days.
It is in.....I will eat my almonds on the other side of my teeth lol.
I am all over the place with this blog. It is time to close it out. Blogging is good. It keeps me focused on my training and diet.....omg, here I go again..with more writing when I said I needed to close this blog out....time to go.
Monday, March 26, 2012
Today is a good day...
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| I am going to rock this dress in a few months!! |
It was refreshing to see all the smiling faces of the brides to be trying on wedding dresses. I enjoyed the uplifted atmosphere. The energy was high and it felt good just to be around all the excitement.
That was the beginning of my Sunday afternoon. I was at the bridal store from 12p-1:30p. Then it was off to my moms. She wanted to use our truck to haul 2 65 gallon rain catcher thingy's to put in her yard. So, hubby and I rushed over to pick up the rain catchers and take them to my moms. Then at 2pm, we celebrated Christmas in March with my children's grandparents. We had a great time!! Missed my son, who is working in California right now and my youngest daughter who is always busy with sports...had softball obligations. I wish they could have been with us.
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| I miss my son! I wish Erica could have been at the party! |
But the party goes on
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| My beautiful daughter Kathy with her daughter Karmen opening Christmas gifts with grandma/pa |
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| Hubby playing words with friends at the party...lol |
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| 32 Weeks Pregnant with my Grandson |
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| My grandkids playing |
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| My girls and their dad's girlfriend smashing |
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| My handsome grandson and cutie pie Mya...My ex's girlfriends beautiful daughter. She fits in perfectly with the beautiful grands!!! |
Bob and I left the party to go back to my moms to put her rain catcher things together. My daughters were planning to drop by to see my mom...the other grandma....while we were over there. We got to my moms around 5:45pm and started working. Around 6:30 both my daughters came by and let me know that I would need to babysit because Kathy was contracting and needed to go to the hospital. (She went into pre-term labor last week and is on medication to stop the labor....she is only 34 weeks). So off they went leaving me to watch the grands...lol. There goes my training for the evening!!
Around 10pm both my daughters returned. Thank goodness she was not in active labor this time. She did not have any cervical changes
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| Baby sitting and enjoying some time not chasing them down |
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| I LOVE BEING A GRANDMA!!!!!! |
Reflections on my training and diet today....
- I ask myself, why am I so strong some days and weak other days
- Today I am strong...I am going to run with it
- Water.....I need it
- I am going to drink 96 ounces today
- That will be hard but I will do it anyway
- I am fooling myself when I tell myself that I can stay on track all by myself.
- Pride is an ugly emotion
- I need the help of a greater power
- Training...To love and hate to train at the same time
- People who love to train make me sick...I am looking forward to a time when I don't feel this way
- I love the way training makes me feel...after it is done
Reflections on my emotions
- I look ugly today
- Love myself
- Smile
- Put on my makeup
- Hair just right
- Put my lotion on
- Shoulders back, head up, be beautiful
- I feel fat today
- I need to stop being dramatic....I am not fat
- I am blessed
- I know I am blessed indeed
- Today is going to be a good day
- My attitude determines my lattitude. I am going to soar today
Things I am thankful for today
- I am thankful for my family
- Thank you God
- I am thankful for my job
- Thank you God
- I am thankful for being thankful
- Yup.....
- I am thankful for spiritual awakenings
- So thankful. I am growing everyday
Just read some comments on my last blog from some friends on Fatlossrevealed.com and bodybuildingrevealed.com.... I love you guys/gals!!!!!! Thank you
Today is a good day......
- Posted using BlogPress from my iPad
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Woohoo....finally time to blog!!
Wow...the last time I posted a blog was February 8th of this year. A lot has happened since my last blog lol. First thing first, let me talk about my training and diet. Well, to be honest my training and diet has taken a turn to the south. My training has been hit and miss and my diet has been on and off. In the past 6 weeks I put on 6 pounds and I look like crap in my opinion.
I was suppose to take pictures March 28th with my improved body. I cancelled that appointment 5 weeks ago and my diet and training has been up and down since then. If there is anything good to say about my training and diet the past 6 weeks, it would be this....it could have been worse.
I took this picture this morning prior to my shopping spree. Yuck.... chunky, chunk, chunk. Thicky, thick, thick me. LOL.....oh well.
On to the excuses why I am a chunkier...... lmao
I have had a lot of personal things happen in the past 6 weeks that has put me on an emotional roller coaster. I typically deal with stress pretty good....just roll with the punches and just keep at it. But this particular time I just had too much on my plate to roll with the punches. I made conscious choice to ditch the diet and training (to a point) and focus on some important matters at hand.
One big stressor behind me is my decision to make a huge move from the comfort of my job as a director of a nursing units to the world of informatics. I struggled greatly with this decision to move because I was happy with my job as a nursing director and I was comfortable with my job...even with the occasional stress involved in running a nursing department. I have been at my place of employment almost 20 years and I have experienced much growth and happiness at my job. But.....there is always a but.....
I needed something new to challenge me. I don't like to be "comfortable". So, I am taking a huge leap into unfamiliar territory. I am super duper excited about this career change too. I get to start over and make a difference in a new job as a Clinical Nurse Analyst II (a computer geek). I feel that this job will fit me like a glove. I will get to do many things that I love to do such as teaching. I will be working with clinicians and training them how to use the various applications within the electronic record. I will be learning all the applications....16 programs I believe and will assist in training with these programs. Also, I will be a support person for clinicians when something is not working right within the application or when they can't figure out where to chart a certain element. I will be training clinicians within the ProMedica Health System....11 hospitals.
So, with the new job, I needed new clothes so I went out and bought a lot of nice clothes. I splurged because I don't like to wear the same thing over and over. Even when I wore scrubs (I have 27 pairs of navy blue scrubs)...that's a lot lol and that is not even including my jackets; I never wore the same pair more than once every 3-4 weeks. So, I suppose I will have a lot of dress clothes now. I bought all my clothes in small...which will make me stay between 130-140 pounds. I am now 143 pounds and although the clothes fit me, I have a little bit of flab peaking through. So now I am motivated to get back on track and lose about 10 pounds before I start my job (April 22, 2012). I will have the excess pounds off this body....promise. I want to look my best when I start.
So....the diet starts on Monday and I will have to stay true on the diet without any cheating. I won't miss any training sessions either. After 2 weeks of staying on the diet, I will email my coach with my progress report. (I have not emailed my coach for over a month because I have not been consistent, and why waste his time reading and commenting on what I am not doing). When I get down to 128 pounds, I will add 1 cheat day a week to my diet.
____________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Now......after all of that....let's be real.........
Here it goes......
I gained the fat and look like a chunky, chunk, chunk because I did not follow the plan...and I COULD HAVE FOLLOWED THE DIET AND TRAINING PLAN, but I chose to be weak and not follow the plan because I was a little stressed!!!!!!!! Waa, Waa, Waa....what the hell ever Annette!!!!!Excuses get you nowhere. Stop with the lame ass excuses and get with the plan and fit into all those small clothes you bought. Stop being a VICTIM Annette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I was suppose to take pictures March 28th with my improved body. I cancelled that appointment 5 weeks ago and my diet and training has been up and down since then. If there is anything good to say about my training and diet the past 6 weeks, it would be this....it could have been worse.
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| Just call me chunk chunk |
On to the excuses why I am a chunkier...... lmao
I have had a lot of personal things happen in the past 6 weeks that has put me on an emotional roller coaster. I typically deal with stress pretty good....just roll with the punches and just keep at it. But this particular time I just had too much on my plate to roll with the punches. I made conscious choice to ditch the diet and training (to a point) and focus on some important matters at hand.
One big stressor behind me is my decision to make a huge move from the comfort of my job as a director of a nursing units to the world of informatics. I struggled greatly with this decision to move because I was happy with my job as a nursing director and I was comfortable with my job...even with the occasional stress involved in running a nursing department. I have been at my place of employment almost 20 years and I have experienced much growth and happiness at my job. But.....there is always a but.....
I needed something new to challenge me. I don't like to be "comfortable". So, I am taking a huge leap into unfamiliar territory. I am super duper excited about this career change too. I get to start over and make a difference in a new job as a Clinical Nurse Analyst II (a computer geek). I feel that this job will fit me like a glove. I will get to do many things that I love to do such as teaching. I will be working with clinicians and training them how to use the various applications within the electronic record. I will be learning all the applications....16 programs I believe and will assist in training with these programs. Also, I will be a support person for clinicians when something is not working right within the application or when they can't figure out where to chart a certain element. I will be training clinicians within the ProMedica Health System....11 hospitals.
So, with the new job, I needed new clothes so I went out and bought a lot of nice clothes. I splurged because I don't like to wear the same thing over and over. Even when I wore scrubs (I have 27 pairs of navy blue scrubs)...that's a lot lol and that is not even including my jackets; I never wore the same pair more than once every 3-4 weeks. So, I suppose I will have a lot of dress clothes now. I bought all my clothes in small...which will make me stay between 130-140 pounds. I am now 143 pounds and although the clothes fit me, I have a little bit of flab peaking through. So now I am motivated to get back on track and lose about 10 pounds before I start my job (April 22, 2012). I will have the excess pounds off this body....promise. I want to look my best when I start.
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| OMG....... |
So....the diet starts on Monday and I will have to stay true on the diet without any cheating. I won't miss any training sessions either. After 2 weeks of staying on the diet, I will email my coach with my progress report. (I have not emailed my coach for over a month because I have not been consistent, and why waste his time reading and commenting on what I am not doing). When I get down to 128 pounds, I will add 1 cheat day a week to my diet.
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Now......after all of that....let's be real.........
Here it goes......
I gained the fat and look like a chunky, chunk, chunk because I did not follow the plan...and I COULD HAVE FOLLOWED THE DIET AND TRAINING PLAN, but I chose to be weak and not follow the plan because I was a little stressed!!!!!!!! Waa, Waa, Waa....what the hell ever Annette!!!!!Excuses get you nowhere. Stop with the lame ass excuses and get with the plan and fit into all those small clothes you bought. Stop being a VICTIM Annette!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Enough about that.....now the good stuff
My grandson turned 2 March 5th. We had a fun birthday party for him at this super cool kids place in Michigan.
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| Mommy and Cam |
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| Karmen was in a bad mood at the party |
Wednesday, February 8, 2012
Legs, butt, back...they all hurt
My legs are killing me. I trained legs yesterday morning and they are sore all the way around. The interesting thing about this hybrid program is that for some reason each week feels a little different even though I am doing the same exercises. I am assuming this is partly because I am becoming more familiar with the program and exercises. I was super shocked yesterday about the newly found strength I had as I did pushups off of 2 medicine balls. For the past couple of weeks or so I struggled with pushups from the medicine ball. Yesterday I cranked the pushups out without issue. I was bewildered by that. Hmmmm.... pretty cool stuff.
I was hungry yesterday, but I did not care about the hunger. It just existed and I did not give it any mind. I ate all my food for the day and that's it. It felt good about not caring about being hungry.
My mind is all over the place this week. That is why I am blogging more than usual. Whenever my mind races past my usual, I need to try to slow my mind down. It is always in high gear, but at times my mind is in overdrive and reading and blogging helps me to just slow things down.
I am a bit anxious about a few upcoming things and I attribute the racing thoughts to the upcoming events...even though my thoughts are not related to the anxiety related things. I need to meditate...well practice meditating. My mind needs that. Yep, I need to empty my mind.
Today I had to do an exercise with our leadership team where I work. We had to read this book about our leadership style and then all the leadership got together to share their leadership style. As usual, I am running a little behind because I got caught up with a phone call prior to the meeting. I walked into the meeting and and sat down as the facilitator was presenting slides about a specific leadership style. As I sat down, Steve whispered to me..."Annette, you are the only pioneer leadership style of the whole leadership group." He laughed and said something silly that I cannot recall and then I remarked, yep, I am the black sheep of our leadership family. We both laughed for a minute then I started paying attention to facilitator as she discussed one of the 8 or so leadership styles.
In my mind I thought, dang....the odd ball of the bunch again. Yep, that's me lol. I recalled the same feeling I had 16 years ago after taking the Myer-Briggs personality test when I was a supervisor. There were 4 quadrants, and again all the people were placed in the quadrant that they belong to. Amongst the team, there were a fair amount of people in a certain quadrant and then there was me...way out in the corner by myself.
I laugh about this and started singing the sesame street song in my head.....one of these things is not like the other. One of these things just isn't the same.... Check out this link
http://youtu.be/etuPF1yJRzg
Story of my life. It is a gift and a curse. I do beat to my own drum and I like it that way, but some people don't appreciate the sound of my drum...and that causes tension at times.
But when I start feeling a bit insecure about being the odd ball, or failing in something, I start singing this in my head....
http://youtu.be/4yMoMxcHTww
New subject... I took the picture below on Monday. I am not happy with the picture because I can see the IHOP and chocolate chip cookies and beer that I shamefully enjoyed over the weekend. Pitiful. No discipline.
My coached posted the following link on his Facebook...
http://www.facebook.com/CoachScottAbel
If discipline and self-control create tension and pressure in you - then you do not understand discipline and self-control. What you are exercising and reinforcing at that point is your actual "resistance" to both - discipline and self-control are "freeing" in that they deliver you to what you want.
Wow...powerful and true statement.
I need to stop resisting and start doing!!!
http://youtu.be/etuPF1yJRzg
Story of my life. It is a gift and a curse. I do beat to my own drum and I like it that way, but some people don't appreciate the sound of my drum...and that causes tension at times.
But when I start feeling a bit insecure about being the odd ball, or failing in something, I start singing this in my head....
http://youtu.be/4yMoMxcHTww
My coached posted the following link on his Facebook...
http://www.facebook.com/CoachScottAbel
If discipline and self-control create tension and pressure in you - then you do not understand discipline and self-control. What you are exercising and reinforcing at that point is your actual "resistance" to both - discipline and self-control are "freeing" in that they deliver you to what you want.
Wow...powerful and true statement.
I need to stop resisting and start doing!!!
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| I have a lot of work ahead of me to get where I want to be |
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